I’m BACK FROM OBS!

And I really wanna be back there. HILLARY watch is da BEST. AND CLAY AND MICHAEL! omg. I’m OBS-sick. It totally became my home while I was there. Seriously the camp could have been a few days longer and I seriously wouldn’t have minded. I would have been happier. I can’t believe I’ll really never hear any LAM jokes again. LAM not LAME. CLAY and MICHAEL and BEYOND lame. I feel like I’ve lost parents. I have never been happier in my entire life. For a whole 5 days I was happy, relaxed, stress free. I honestly felt better. Now it’s gone. No more. Ever.

Moving on. Hahaha. I’m hoping! Hmmm, staring at me eh. I won’t be fooled. A new light. Thou shalt stop brooding on the past. Yes. Thou shalt not subject thee to misery. A strategy. what? Too fast? go to hell. I searched for it. Forget it. examinations are in the zone. Once cleared, planning begins. No, why do I act like it’s a war. Endangered I am. No, I must not even think at all. Stop and do not start. Yes. Proceed carefully, done once too many times and have failed. No, I am not for that scene. I do not fit it, should I even try. I should have switched before the year began. But if I didn’t suceed, misery would be upon me. No, it is good where I am. It keeps my distance. Although your eyes were piercing. No, I must not think. But now, sleep calls.

I wish I had something happy to blog about. Unfortunately, I don’t. MAYBE after exams there’ll be something. Anyway, I realied I don’t have recent photos! The last time I look was like CNY, which was SUPER long ago! I have to take more! Haha, after exams would be a great time.

I want to watch a movie, go cycling, go rollerblading, go to the beach! ALL after exams k. AHH. Sigh, after exams have to deal with all the immediate stuff. NPCC day, crezawards, OBS, 2nd class drill badge, exam results. Sigh, immediately busy. I really wish I wasn’t. I just don’t wanna do anything. I wanna go have fun somewhere. But of course. TOO BUSY.

I feel weird. Honestly, I’m frustrated. I keep remembering. I want to be happy. I hate uncertainties, I’m that insecure. I keep rembering what happened then. I don’t WANT to, I just do. It just keeps coming back, haunting. It’s like having relapses of an illness. It’s like having a project that isn’t done so it keeps bugging me. Always at the back of my mind. Always reminding me I had something that I didn’t finish. Always just there, waiting for a chance to surface again. And I can’t stand it. I need a closure. If that is ever possible. I need a distraction. I need someone something else. I need to go away and disppear.

Wahaha. My tablet’s in the TA hospital until tuesday. Then it’ll be as good as new. Haha.

You make me feel like
story book endings and fairytale’s coming true. 

We’re impossible, they’ll all tell us. Cos we are. 
I don’t care what they say, I’m in love with you, they try to pull me away, but they don’t know the truth, my heart’s crippled by the vein that  I keep on closing. 

I tried, I really did but it can’t work, cos 
you cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love. 

It’s not easy, the sars just get deeper and deeper and soon I can’t close them anymore and 
I’ll be wearing these scars for everyone to see. 

And maybe it’s my fault, maybe I didn’t do it right. but 
I love you, I loved you all along, I missed you, from far away for far too long. 

In a room full of people, I can only see you,
and it’s you and me , and all other peole and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.

 I can’t think of what I could have done. but 
baby I will wait for you.

Omg. My com is gonna be the death of me. I can’t tahan it being so irritating. I’m going crazy.

I don’t know know what’s wrong with me. or you, for that matter. I’m confused. Ok. I can’t be someone I’m not just to save myself a heartache. It’s a part of me, a suspicion, an instinct. So everything you do affects me in a big way. I remember everything because every moment in a friendship counts. You’re the only guy I’ve ever been able to feel absolutely myself with. I can talk to you about anything. Why am I typing this anyway. You know it already. You know it all.

I was reading back posts from last year and I was laughing. Laughing at the things I was emo about. Like WTH? I sounded to retarded. I can’t even believe I was emo about those stuff. it’s damn dumb. I was really really laughing. sounded so funny. Like some hopeless person that doesn’t know how to go out and figure things out properly. Haha. And I CANNOT believe how long I liked you. It’s like centuries. Haha. I just say thank god we’re talking or I’ll still be as pathetic at last time. Maybe I still am. heh, I sure hope not. Anyway, I’m gonna stop talking about you. Right now. cos I don’t wanna start another rant. From now on, my family has a new routine. Go for saturday evening mass instead of sunday morning, then wake up early on sunday and go to MacRitchie to walk/run. For my parents it’s walk cos they said their body cannot tahan the running. But for me and Vanessa we’ll run. Nicole will walk with my parents. Obviously she can’t run with us. We ran 1.5 km and walked 1.5 km today. I wanted to run 2.4 km but my sis said she couldn’t tahan so I had to stop with her. It’s ok since she never run 2.4 km before so next week we’ll run 2 km. Like, I’ll ease her into it so when she goes to sec 1 she’ll be well conditioned so she won’t hate it. Haha. And I can burn calories too! Haha. I’m very happy. I want dinner.

Life is crazy I swear. MID-YEARS start NEXT FRIDAY. That means I would have gotten through HALF of sec 3! OMG. That’s so mind-blowing. Anyway, I start mugging tomorrow morning. Haha.

Amanda and Aishah and THE best. What would I do without you guys? haha. Who would wake me up in class (AMANDA) ? and who’d be my donkey (AISHAH) ? Haha. You can blame Amanda for writing that song in chinese. Relax I’ll buy you hay Oh and my dear Panda that I can drive nuts. Haha. Ok ok. NISA not panda. Haha. Anyway. if I sound hyper, yeah I do, I’m really not. Well, I’m weird like that. Happy and sad at the same time. Well, I’ll blog more when I ahve more things to blog about.